‘Rhapsody In Blue’ the perfect remedy to save Super Bowl Halftime Show

I figure that planning for the Super Bowl halftime show begins about now, thus I have a plan. Stick with me on this. 

These days, under the guidance of Roger “The Panderer” Goodell and the NFL’s Minister of Backward-Pointed Garbage, Jay-Z, the selection of every vulgarity-mouthing, crotch-grabbing, N-word-spewing, woman-objectifying, violence-vowing, butt-twerking act that can fit on a stage has made the grade. 

Under Goodell, the Super Bowl halftime show has become an annual showcase for the most corrosive, values-starved American entertainment — placed for mass, Sunday evening, prime-time family viewing. 

And the shameless Goodell is issued an annual frightened entertainment media look-away pass by those who would indulge garbage rather than risk the ridicule of those who have been force-fed toxic effluence as popular culture. 

And if that weren’t indisputable, it would seem impossible. 

This Super Bowl would be a wise, welcome time to reverse that trend as the NFL is again confronted with an image problem as the residual of a reality problem: The league has become even additionally loaded with antisocial bad guys, including criminals. 

The NFL, as if Goodell doesn’t know what he’d never admit, is in desperate need of a course adjustment, and the Super Bowl halftime show would be just the place to display it. 

Snoop Dogg performs at the Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show.
Snoop Dogg performs at the Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show.
Getty Images

Here’s my idea: 

Bring in an entire, renowned philharmonic to play one of the greatest pieces of American music, George Gershwin’s 1924 “Rhapsody In Blue” — a stirring, mood-swinging symphony that blends and sends classical, jazz and rhythm-and-blues to a dramatic orchestral climax. 

There are only good reasons why “Rhapsody in Blue,” nearly 100 years later, sticks in peoples’ heads, why it was selected as the music to sell soaring commercial airline flights, why its many versions and performers grow, why it’s a classic. Check YouTube. 

And bring in a flamboyant pianist, the likes of Khatia Buniatishvili, to handle the many and varied solos. She knows how to play to varied audiences. She’d wow them here, there and everywhere. 

“Rhapsody in Blue,” which lasts up to 12 minutes, per the conductor’s discretion, is the perfect length to fill halftime with something better than Snoop Dogg pulling on his genitalia while rapping vulgarities or Jennifer Lopez holding on to a stripper’s pole as she shakes her mostly exposed derrière in the nation’s face. 

George Gershwin
George Gershwin

More: The stadium for Super Bowl LVII on Feb. 12 in Glendale, Ariz., has a retractable roof, thus closing it to enhance the music with a dreamy light show would feed the feel and fuel the sounds. 

What does the NFL have to lose? Its dignity? It sold that years ago. It’s time to see if it can retrieve some. 

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