Our correspondent speaks to couples on the likely actions they will take if they experience dullness in their marriages
I’ll continue to show my partner love – Sunday Olutola
When the marriage is not going as usual, it must be due to some factors. Those factors will weigh down love. If I find myself in such a situation, I will make sure I continue to affirm the toast of love to my partner. I will let her feel my path. I will show her love because if I fail to do that, it will always aggravate the matter. I will continue giving her to cheer her up.
We’ll discuss to find a solution – Barakat Ibrahim
I won’t fight him but will continue watching what is happening. If he always cared for me and changed suddenly, I would have to talk with him to know what happened. I will let him know what changed about him and on his part he should be willing to talk about it. If he gives sensible reasons, there is nothing we will find a way to solve the problem. But if he continues, definitely something hidden is behind it. Perhaps, he is having an extra-marital affair with someone.
Discussion ‘ll help us – Benjamin Popoola
I’ll search for the causes and whether it starts from me. Sometimes women change their ways in a marriage. Some of them are driven by different talks and the counselling they get from some people. We’ll continue with what we used to do together in the past. But if that is not happening, it might mean that we have probably lost interest in each other. I will talk with her and explain things about what has really changed about her.
I’ll bring the matter up to find a solution – Oluwabukunmi Lawal
One needs to study the signs to know the problems. I have to know if the problem is from me. I’ll also apologise and remind him of what we shared. I will also let him know that I am no longer feeling the vibes we used to treasure. I wouldn’t complain about the situation but I will ensure I bring it up in such a romantic manner in order to solve the issue.
Communication is vital in this situation – Moses Benjamin
Everything must start from the foundation of the marriage. I assume that husband and wife need to be best friends before getting married. It’s not only about marriage as we would have been friends before marrying. I think renewal of love every day and communication are vital. We do not need to hide anything from each other. If a spouse steps on his or her partner’s toes which is always inevitable in a marriage, they do not need to keep it to themselves or else it will lead to malice.
We’ll rekindle memories – Fatimah Musa
Communication is important in unions. I will have to discuss the issue with my spouse. There is no need to cover up what is already there aside from spending more time with each other like going out on dinner dates and those things we were doing before children and other responsibilities came. Inasmuch there won’t be much time to do those things we used to do; I think it’s important to find a way to spark up the marriage. We’ll try to do them to return the spark in our marriage.
We will both work it out – Kazeem Omotosho
Though some marriages get to such a stage, both partners need to listen attentively to each other. Partners should not take each other for granted. The husband has to stick to his wife and give her more attention. This is applicable to the two of them and they shouldn’t keep malice. They should try going out together and should both think about the past. They both have to work on the marriage to ensure that it does not lead to divorce.
I’ll increase attention, care – Faith Simon
I will try to find where the problem is from. I must know the reason the spark is no longer there. Communication is essential in every marriage. Then questions need to be asked to know the best way to handle the situation. Good treats and surprises will help too. It shouldn’t be limited to buying gifts only. In such a situation, getting attached to each other is important. I will increase the attention, care and love because that is what makes marriage enjoyable. These little things we neglect have more often than not enriched many marriages.
I’ll call her attention to the issue – Yusuf Isiaka
Some things must have happened if my spouse was not that way before. I will need to call her and discuss the issue with her. I will let her know that some things have changed from her side. I’ll know whether or not I have wronged her. The marriage might eventually collapse if one decides to be insensitive about the issue so after discussing it with her and she still persists, it might mean that she’s no more interested in me and the marriage.
I’ll make amends if I’m wrong – Hanifat Alimi
I believe understanding is the most important thing in marriage. As long as there is no deceit in a union, a marriage may not experience such a situation. But it eventually happens, a good woman will do her best to make it work again. I’ll think about what I used to do that flavoured the marriage which I stopped. After identifying that, I’ll surely make adjustments. Even if he refuses to tell me, I will go extra lengths to find out the source of the problem and find a solution to it.