March 21, 2023

Amarachi Okeh

A sex therapist, Dr. Charles Umeh, has urged couples not to feel ashamed in seeking help to reignite their sexual life, especially if the desire ceases in a new after childbirth.

According to Umeh, the issue should also not be seen as a woman’s problem alone, but rather both the husband and wife need to seek help together.

Umeh, who is also a consultant clinical psychologist, said the loss of sexual libido in some women after the birth of their child could be due to the painful experiences they had while giving birth irrespective of the type of birth.

Umeh, who works with Lagos University Teaching Hospital, said it is not normal for a woman to lose interest in sex after childbirth especially after staying the required number of weeks to heal.

“Such is not normal, they need to see a therapist, something is wrong. Maybe they cannot tell themselves what is wrong but they need to see a therapist and in the process of working it out, a solution can be found,” he said.

According to Mayo Clinic, a woman should wait for between four to six weeks after delivery, regardless of the delivery method to have sex.

The risk of developing complications while engaging in sex after birth is at its peak two weeks post-birth, it said.

Also, according to experts, some of the health challenges a woman could have that could affect her attitude towards sex post-birth are postpartum discharge, vaginal tears, fatigue, vaginal dryness, and pain.

But once the woman becomes healthy and no longer wishes to engage in sex even after she has abstained for the required duration post-birth could necessitate seeking medical intervention from a specialist, the experts said, adding that it is abnormal for a woman who once was sexually active with her husband to lose all forms of sexual desire after giving birth.

Such a situation, they stressed needs to be addressed by a sex expert to help the couple navigate through the problems so their sexual life can be reawakened psychologically.

Speaking further with Reportr Door HealthWise, Dr. Umeh said, “Some women still retain the painful memory they experienced after birth and they have to allow it to ease off before they start finding excitement and without excitement, there can’t be sex.

“It is not like the women don’t want to engage in sex with their husbands anymore, it is just that there is no excitement or appetite for sex. So, they would need someone to walk them through that state for them to develop the appetite again.

“It is a gradual process but most men don’t know that but it doesn’t happen the same way for some women,” he said.

He also noted that a woman losing interest in sex for years after giving birth could be due to some unprocessed trauma in their younger years even before they got married.

“If you go through their sexual history, you could discover that there are some things that happened in the past that was not dealt with so that is what plays out during this period.

“It is not that they can’t get to enjoy sex, they should if the right things are done,” the sex expert said.

He also stressed that the husbands of women going through such phases should show understanding and not force themselves on their wives.

“Such men should be open to seeking help together with their wives instead of abandoning them.

“Furthermore, men should stop focusing on only themselves when trying to initiate sex rather, they should pay attention to the woman and how she responds,” he added.

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